06-02-09 Twins 4, Cleveland 3

J'mauer.

Another good performance from Kevin Slowey, which brings his season ERA below 4. I think he's our ace. He's awkward yet effective (like Rik Smits). But he changes speeds and eye-levels and now he's had five consecutive quality starts.

J'mauer.

Joe Nathan gets the workman save.

J'mauer.

Today was a nice day for the Twins. Every team in the division loses except the Twins. I like it.

Question: Can Joe Mauer make it to the All-Star Break hitting .400? The fact that it's a legitimate question is amazing enough.

Game Heroes
Joe Mauer, MIN, 3-for-3, HR, R, 3 RBI, BB
Kevin Slowey, MIN, W, 6.2 IP, 6 H, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K
Joe Nathan, MIN, 1.1 IP, S, H, K
Denard Span, MIN, 2-for-3, 2 R, RBI, SB
Justin Morneau, MIN, 2-for-4, 2B

Game Goats
-none-

AL Central Standings after the game

Detroit	28-22
Minnesota	26-27
Chicago	25-26
Kansas City	23-28
Cleveland	22-32

5-31-09 Twins 3, Tampa 2

Here's what the Twins do. They go on a road trip, and it's like heading toward a dense, gravitational field of suck. They lose the first games of a road trip, but, see, they're really wily, because they slingshot around the gravitational field of suck in their last game on the road, accelerating into the next homestand at a tremendous speed (trav'lin' at the speed of light, that's why we call them Mrs. Fahrenheit).

It's brilliant, really.

And, it's enough to convince some people that the Twins are only a trade away.

Granted, a 20-game stretch of .700 baseball would, indeed, put us comfortably ahead in the division. But what have we seen to suggest that this team can do that thing? Unless those 20-games are at home, of course. But the schedulers tend to shy away from month-long homestands.

C'est baseball. C'est .500 baseball. C'est les Twins.

btw, Joe Madden makes bizarre decisions. Twice in today's game, he pinch-hit for a player that had already had two hits. 'Sup with that? I know he's the most emo manager in baseball, but even Rivers Cuomo knows to go with the hot hand.

Game Heroes
Joe Nathan, MIN, 1 IP, S, 2 K
Jose Mijares, MIN, 1 IP, HLD, H, K
Matt Joyce, TAM, 2-for-3, HR, R, RBI

Game Goats
Alexi Casilla, MIN, o-for-5, 5 LOB
Evan Longoria, TAM, 0-for-3, 4 LOB

AL Central Standings after the game

Detroit	28-21
Chicago	24-25
Minnesota	25-27
Kansas City	23-27
Cleveland	22-30

5-30-09 Tampa 5, Twins 2

The Twins just don't seem to have any "Fuck You" when they're on the road.

Liriano didn't pitch poorly, but gave up three infield hits en route to a four-run inning. But after that, after something went wrong, it never seemed that the Twins could muster much.

They mustered a bit in the 9th inning, but, like yesterday, I think that's a function of Tampa's bad bullpen (and it's pretty bad). The Twins' musterings, on the road, are pitiful pairs of singles. At home, the Twins get angry and hit line drives with their big-boy pants on. On the road, the Twins are polite Washington Generals; at home, ornery cusses.

In related news, R.A. Dickey is excelling as the team's mop-up man. Good gig if you can get it.

Bliggity-blog bonus: I heard a great song today, and for all y'all on iTunes (or some form of legal song downloading) you should give it a listen--

Jonathan Coulton, "Kenesaw Mountain Landis" from the album "Smoking Monkey."

The song's opening line: "Kenesaw Mountain Landis was a bad motherfucker."

Game Heroes
David Price, TAM, 5.2 IP, W, 5 H, ER, 2 BB, 11 K
Carl Crawford, TAM, 3-for-4, HR, R, 2 RBI, K
Joe Dillon, TAM, 2-for-4, HR, R, RBI, K

Game Goats
Michael Cuddyer, MIN, 0-for-4, 3 K, 4 LOB
Delmon Young, MIN, 0-for-4, 3 K, 3 LOB

AL Central Standings after the game

Detroit	27-21
Chicago	23-25
Minnesota	24-27
Kansas City	23-26
Cleveland	21-30